The Walk Through God’s Green Fields

It has been very therapeutic for me to write and publish what I went through in this life storm. But the ultimate healer is God. He has brought me through so many things it is amazing.
He sent people to shelter me. He sent people to feed me. He sent people to clothe me. He sent [...]

Since the last time I wrote I have moved into a one bedroom apartment and have my chocolate lab Dolly with me.
God has sent so many people to comfort me and help me through this. I am receiving financial help for my rent by a family member because there are still lots of expenses to [...]

How do you start over when you have been deleted from someone’s life that you have been married to for seventeen years?
She wants no delays in the divorce. Full steam ahead.
I will be divorced maybe before Thanksgiving and for sure before Christmas.
Now she only communicates with me through cold business like emails with no feeling [...]

The other night I had a Spiritual “a ha” moment which changed my entire perspective.
In frustration and almost anger I cried out, “Father tell me what to pray!” Very fast He answered. “My will.” I realized for the past month I have been forcing what I want on God, never bothering once to let Him [...]

Written October 20, 2009
I called my pastor JD yesterday and told him I desperately needed a wing man. I need a Godly man to help me through this. Who will stand with me. Pray with me. Let me cry. Let me grieve. I told him I understood if he couldn’t help because he has six [...]

Written October 17, 2009
Today is Saturday. Oh how I dread the weekends.
A crazy thing is happening in this painful season of my life. With all of the pruning, I feel new buds forming to bring forth the new Cec.
I am changing right before my eyes. I’ve started to change my wardrobe to reflect the new [...]

Written October 16, 2009
The stress, grief and thoughts of the unknown combined with a diet of cigarettes, coffee, antacids and dining from fast food value menus is taking a toll on my body. I am tired and have no energy. I hurt all over. I feel like crap.
LORD, I need to see you. I know [...]

Written October 15, 2009
I have had a good couple of days riding a huge wave of anger like a pro surfer. Very therapeutic. If I could just stay angry all of the time this would be so much easier.
My wife was served her portion of the divorce petition at my attorney’s office yesterday. She has [...]

Written October 13, 2009
I see my reflection in the laptop screen. I am not the same man I arrived here as. My face is thinner. My eyes are different. My entire makeup as a person is different. Before I was a man that had a huge comfort zone insulating and isolating me. The new man [...]

Written October 9, 2009
As I write this I am no longer where I normally write.
I’m not at my three thousand square foot dream home in the office or upstairs in the prayer room with a cinnamon bun scented candle burning.
No. I’m in a place and time I never thought I would be.
My new home is [...]